Menopause!! Yayy!

I think I’m going through menopause. Or maybe I’m just going insane. It doesn’t feel like there is a lot of difference between the two. Being held hostage by your hormones and being held hostage by a mind that no longer functions in a way that is accepted by society are probably similar. The difference is that menopause is probably temporary, I hope.

Or perhaps, as someone who has always been just slightly off beat, I am having my mid life crisis at 50. But I’m pretty sure that the red sports car and the 24 year old boyfriend at 40 were the midlife crisis. This is the dreaded menopause, in all it's gory glory.

I’ve chosen to approach menopause in the same way I approach most of my health issues. If it’s a normal part of life, and I can alleviate symptoms while trying to work through the core of the issue, then I work with the many tools that are available to me.

I use teas and tinctures, homeopathy and hope and remain confident that my body knows what is best and if I give it good healthy organic raw food with all the nutrients that it needs and provide it with a balance of aerobic and mind body exercise it will find its way to health. My belief on my body is that I don’t believe that I can do better than Mother Nature, so I’d prefer to enlist her help. I also take dark chocolate for the emotional symptoms and medicate with it as needed.

It seems to me that menopause is partly the universe helping you to cram for the final exam. It highlights those areas that you haven’t quite gotten around to working on, and shows you the areas that you need to focus on for study. It’s like having a personal trainer with you every moment, relentlessly showing you what you need to work on and pushing you to do the work.

Menopause is a process that affects both the body and the mind in very deep ways. It’s a time when a woman has to dig deep, work hard to keep her body healthy and accept that her worth and her value go far beyond what the body is. It’s a time when emotions are mercurial, and force you to dig up the buried treasure of your unresolved issues.

There are a lot of things that I could do to avoid this current discomfort. (Saying that menopause is uncomfortable is like saying that a volcano is a bit unpredictable) I could take hormone replacement therapy, or try bio-identical hormones. I could try DHEA or human growth hormone to try to delay the aging process. I could Botox and lift this and tuck that and spend the money I should be putting aside for retirement to chase the lure of eternal youth and have no sudden emotional breakdowns or 2 am energy surges. But I think I’m going to stick with my hair dye and my hope and just do my best.

Instead, I think I’ll take responsibility for this. Hell, if I have to go through it, I may as well gain something from it, right? I can take pills, or I can go guerilla on my health habits and let my body ease through it. So, when you see that woman in the grocery store of a certain age that suddenly goes off on the poor stock boy, or breaks down in tears because they only have 8 bars of Green and Blacks 85% organic chocolate left, please be kind to me. Ignore my insanity and try not to notice the bulge of my belly as it tries to work through the excess calories of my frequent chocolate self medication.

I know that most people aren’t going to walk this particular path. My choice to do it this way is because it seems to me that you really can’t avoid the hard stuff in life, you can only delay it. But no matter how you try to avoid the wonderful transition called menopause, it’s going to find you. So, embrace it, use it and let it teach you all the wonderful things about yourself that you haven’t found out yet.

I also propose that we adopt a new societal norm. I’d like to call it the “menopause hug”. Any woman over 40 should be able to stand in any public place and call out “menopause hug” and immediately be hugged tightly by the nearest person available. Any woman seen weeping or yelling in public should be immediately be approached with open arms and the query “menopause hug?” Now, granted, you might get punched a few times if you offer a menopause hug to a younger woman, but hey, we all have anger issues and it will help her recognize hers. : - )

Happy Hot Flashing!